Today’s Lesson: Don’t Judge Others by their Looks

Dear Carter and Lily,
Judging other people by their looks is often hurtful and really serves no purpose for good. When you judge other people by their looks only, you can’t get a full picture of what your looking at. You also risk missing something really important about the person that is good and could be a blessing to yourself.
Carter, your birth mother is a kind and loving person. Many times, I have told people that she is my hero. She has been criticized by at least one person that I know about for “giving away her baby”. That person is probably not very mature and was not in a kind mood when they said that. I am NOT judging by looks here, because I don’t even know who this person is. The true fact is that your birth mother made a very courageous decision and chose to make an adoption plan for you AND herself. She knew in her heart that she could not give you things, take you some places, and provide experiences that she wanted you to have. Yet, she was judged. Maybe not by her looks in this particular instance, but that could have been a part of it. Your birth mother is very young, yet she has true wisdom. Our society, today, is more accepting of adoption and its benefits than when I was younger, but some ideas are hard to suppress for some people. Those who judge your birth mother for her decision and her youth might miss the fact that she had your best interests at heart, loves you very much, has a contagious smile and is a loving woman (just to name a few of her traits).
Lily, you are only one day old and your Mommy has been judged by some of her nurses for her youthful looks! Your Mommy is about to be 23 years old, but she does look a little younger. I wish I could go put a sign on your room at the hospital that says: “The mother in this room is a graduate of Wake Forest and has a B.S. in Biology. She is a research scientist. She has been a special needs caregiver and (in the past) earned her spending money as a babysitter for more than 5 years. Her experience with children and babies is extensive. Please do not assume that she knows less than you do about HER BABY. She has read everything there is to know about newborns. If you disagree about something she is doing, please explain why and ask her reasons for what she is doing . Then, maybe you can relinquish control of this situation by mutual agreement.”
Whew! Sorry, now that is out of my system. See, judging a person by their looks can cause a lot of frustration, even if you are not the one being judged.
Be nice to people! Find out what makes them tick. Love all people, regardless of their looks and circumstances.
I Love You, Ju Ju


Welcome to Our World


Dear Lily,
Happy Birthday to YOU! It seems like such a short time since we discovered you were coming into this world. And, it seems like such a long time since we started thinking you were coming really soon. Ju Ju is not confused. She’s just tired.
Since your Mommy told us you were coming, the excitement has been building every day. That was almost 8 months ago. It was VERY happy news! This kind of anticipation is good for the soul. Sure, there have been times when there was a little nervousness, but that was pretty mild compared to our excitement.
Yesterday morning, your Mommy called me to tell me you would be here real soon, at least two weeks before we expected you to be here. That’s when the real emotional roller coaster ride began. I was extremely happy to know our wait was almost over, but the last 24-plus hours have seen a myriad of feelings come across my heart.
I have been a little worried that you might be a teeny tiny girl because the doctors have told us you wouldn’t arrive for another couple of weeks. I have been a little worried for your Mommy because it is hard work to bring little people into this big world. But, she has been an amazing waiting Mommy. She is very patient. She has been very brave.
Since I am writing this while your Mommy is still working hard to get you here, I still don’t know how big you are or what you look like. I have so many questions about you. I am sure God has created you perfectly and that you will be more wonderful than we could have dreamed you would be.
It feels like a very long time since you started making your way here because so many things have happened since yesterday morning. Your first 15 hours of your journey seemed to go by VERY SLOWLY! You didn’t appear to be coming fast at all. In fact, there were a couple of times when it seemed like you weren’t sure about coming to us! But, when you decided to come along, things went quickly. In only about 4 more hours, we were told you were almost ready to be born. Then, there was an other delay. The doctor that was going to help your Mommy get you here got busy bringing another baby into the world. He wanted your Mommy to wait a little longer! We became a little impatient. Well, at least Ju Ju did!
Now, Ju Ju and Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Nicki are waiting in a special room while your Mommy and Daddy finish the last bit of work to get you here. Skipper is waiting at home because he doesn’t feel well and he doesn’t want to take a chance on giving you a bad cold or the flu. Uncle Chris, Aunt Cassie and Carter are at work and daycare in Tennessee where they live. They will visit in a couple of weeks. Your Nana and Aunt Britnie and Uncle Cooper are on the way to the hospital where you are going to be born. Your Grandpa Bohannon is hoping to hear of your arrival, soon, too!
You have a great big bunch of people praying for you to get here safely. All of your family, their co-workers and a whole bunch of their friends are covering you with prayers! You are VERY IMPORTANT! You are a special girl! WE ALL LOVE YOU!
I will finish this day’s story in a little while, I began writing at about 10:30 and I’ve been writing for 30 minutes (Ju Ju is slow!). When I write again, You will be here with us! 🙂

Well, Lily it is now almost 8:00 in the evening on the day of your birth and Ju Ju is just now getting settled down to finish the rest of your birth story.

You were actually born right before I finished writing this morning!  A nurse came out to get me and your Nana about 30 minutes after I stopped writing.  She took us to the room where you were born.  Your Mommy and Daddy seemed a little upset.  You had been working so hard getting here, that you were very tired!  So tired that the doctor and nurses weren’t sure if you would not need a little help with your breathing.  Your Mommy was sad  because she didn’t want the nurses to take you to a special nursery where she couldn’t be with you for a while.  The nurses saw how upset it made her to even think about being apart from you.  They decided to give you a little extra time with your Mommy and Daddy.  They encouraged them to tickle your cheek and move you around to help you remember to breathe right, and it worked!  You began to breathe deeply and they were amazed at how you progressed so well!

It is a wonderful thing for me to watch your Mommy and Daddy be your parents.  It makes me really proud because they love you so much and are looking forward to being the best parents they can be.

Your Mommy is making milk in her body to feed you.  It is special milk that is designed especially designed for only you!  All babies have to learn to drink their milk and that is the biggest thing I will be praying about tonight.  I am asking God to guide your Mommy in her teaching you how to eat.  I pray that she will be patient and that you will learn how to nurse quickly.  I hope the nurses don’t forget and give you a bottle, because when you drink milk from your Mommy, that can be confusing for a little baby.

Lily, I love you and Carter so much!  There isn’t any other love in the world like the love a grandparent has for their grandchildren.  It is different than the love I have for your Mommy and her brothers.  It is hard to explain. Some people say that it is better than love for one’s children.  I’m not sure it’s all that, but it is really close.  And, it’s really different at the same time.

As I have reviewed what I had written this morning, I see that I haven’t told you how we felt about you and you precious little self!  You are an absolute perfect blend of your Mommy and Daddy.  You definitely have your Daddy’s mouth.  On you, it is petite and beautiful.  You have your Mommy’s sweet cheeks.  I could just kiss them over and over.  Wow!  It still amazes me how God makes babies that share their parents traits.

I am thanking God tonight that you arrived safely and that you and your family are off to a GREAT start!

I Love You,  Ju Ju

By mtpilotmom

You Just Can’t Please Everyone

Good old Facebook led me to read an editorial in a local newspaper, last night. The writer was perturbed with a local restaurant . Seems that he had gone in about thirty minutes before closing and gotten upset that the waitstaff had their sidework underway while he was eating. In the article, he reported that he retaliated by eating slowly and ordering dessert that he really didn’t want or need.
It behooves me to say that I have never read this particular writer’s work, before. He began the article by saying that HIS schedule was the problem, but berated the restaurant for keeping theirs!
As a small business owner/operator, I know both sides of this argument very well. As a restaurant owner, I understand that this equation does NOT balance. There is no truly happy ending.
This patron was served. He didn’t remark about the quality of his food. No one “rushed” him, although he reminisced about a different restauranteur who had done that in a different eatery. Apparently, the waitress offered refills and other service appropriately. However, his account of the event was quite emotional. He wrote that he, himself was rude!
We serve right up to closing time, at our little Soda Fountain.  But, after the magic hour passes, our employees always explain that we close at 2:00, but that they would be happy to provide drinks, ice cream or a simple sandwich. Of course, they continue cleaning as the patrons eat after closing time. Not only do they want to finish their shifts and get home to their families, but they know that they are not earning gratuities during that time. Even though they are paid for their hourly time far more than regular wait staff, it makes a big difference!
Mr. Late Diner never mentioned leaving a tip and I would be willing to bet that he didn’t. His complaint that the atmosphere was completely ruined by the end of shift activities was overstated several times. I wonder if the situation would have turned out differently if he had tried to engage his waitress in a polite conversation.  Yes, ask for what he really wanted, personal attention!
The really unfortunate “end of the story” is that this person who makes a living trying to convey his thoughts to others, forgot the true solution to problems, COMMUNICATION.
I am pretty sure that upon request, the employees working in this diner’s section would have been willing to help co-workers in another section if they received the same in return after this disgruntled left the establishment. How sad that this man wrote his dissatisfaction for all the county to read without trying to solve his own problem!  It was obvious that he was trying to decry the restaurant’s reputation.  However, he actually told the painful truth about himself.   Personally, I hope his editor reads this!